Blog

It's All About Relationships

“Don’t Ever Look a White Person in the Eye”

A Black friend told me that she went to a gathering of Black folk, a kind of reconnecting/empowerment gathering. Someone there told her they are afraid to look White people in the eye. This stuck me so deeply, tears came to my eyes. I knew I had stumbled on a thread to the pervasive and…
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Grounding Technique

What is grounding? Grounding techniques can help bring you back to yourself when something throws you off or you become disassociated for some reason. Getting “triggered” or activated is another reason you might want to engage in a grounding technique. Most people would agree that being connected to yourself and having your full capacities available…
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Attachment Styles

Relationships matter; they really really matter. Boil down everything that you do, and it reduces to the function of relationships in your life. Relationships matter at the very beginning; this sets the stage for later relating. They matter in the middle, because this reinforces or contradicts what happens at the beginning. They matter right now.…
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Conflict happens to everyone, but there is help available! Try Mediation!

Mediation is a process where two (or more) participants meet with a neutral third person (a mediator) in order to resolve a problem, or problems. The Center for Dialogue & Resolution (CDR) in Eugene offers mediation to the community, and trainings. CDR claims that using the techniques that they offer results in satisfied participants 89%…
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Mindfulness

The single most useful tool I have found for emotional regulation is mindfulness. For many years I resisted meditation because of a traumatic incident in my childhood. In this memory, I am quietly observing the morning come in from behind the curtain of the sliding glass door, and my father interrupts me in a deeply…
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